Writing our Roots: Rifk Ebeid's Journey

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Mahaban, welcome to Siddhi's Stories, a podcast dedicated to amplifying the voices and highlighting the achievements of Palestinian women. I'm your host, Leila, and today we're diving into the magical world of children's literature with someone who is using her words to nurture young minds and celebrate Palestinian culture. Some of her books are Baba What Does My Name Mean, Kemal's Keys, and Birthday Kunefe. Joining us is Rif, a beloved Palestinian children's author whose stories are inspiring the next generation. Rifk, welcome to Sidhi Stories.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Thank you. That was such an excellent.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

We love starting off the conversation with a Siddhi-inspired question. And being that you're one who's really good with words, what is one word you would choose to describe your Sidhi?

SPEAKER_01 0:58

I would just say habibti. My grandmother that I was actually named after, I I never got to meet her. She's my dad's mom. Her name was Rifa. And so my dad, when he named me Rif, he shortened it thinking it would be like more modern and cool. It made it more difficult on everyone. My grandmother from my mom's side, alhamdulillah, I had the chance to grow up with her. We would go to Palestine every summer, which is what inspired like Baba. What does my name mean? It was owed to my my childhood. But Tata was always just Habipti. She's so sweet, so easygoing, always feeding us, funny and sarcastic, and just uh heck, I I love her so much.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Oh, and I love that you couldn't categorize all that with chabibti because you have so much to say about her, but just with one word, it's habibti. That's so sweet. Thank you for sharing that. In doing some research about you, I found out so much more. I already thought you were so cool because you're a children's author and we have your books, and my daughter loves your books, but then I I find out you have a law degree. Mushallah, you are a speech pathologist.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? So my dad's family is family is from Al Khalil and my mom's family family is from Jerusalem. When we would go home go back, we would go to Jerusalem because my dad's family lives there. Um like they're dispersed, but the more immediate family is in Jerusalem. So I feel connected there more. Like I grew up in Florida, in a small town in Florida, and initially in high school, when I was trying to think of what I want to do in college, I was gonna do like the medical route, let's be honest. Or I was gonna attempt, even though I knew that wasn't really me. But then the intifalda broke out, the second intifalda, and I got really into it and um was becoming very active in my own way at school. One of my teachers was asking me what do you want to do in college? And so I told them, and they're like, you know, I really think you should do political science. And I was like, What's that? Only knew like doctor or lawyer. Um, so that kind of set me down that path throughout my studies. I know you you mentioned I did like a lot of things, but I like to try and imagine that the thread that ties it all together is this idea of voice and being able to express yourself and stand up for yourself. And so that's kind of what led me into all those different directions.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

I totally saw like where it went. Um my daughter, my oldest daughter, she's six years old, and she had a speech delay when she was younger, and it was so, as a parent, just so heartbreaking, feeling like you can't help them find their voice. She had so much to say, but she couldn't get it out.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

But so I don't realize like how foundational those first few years are. Just for our sense of self and and our confidence in ourselves, we think like, oh, they're young, they'll grow out of it, they'll eventually talk, they'll whatever, eventually do whatever. But no, you you have to lay this foundation for them because those experiences that we do have when we we're young, if we're unable to communicate or if it's difficult, or if somebody's making fun of us for it, those have a lasting impact.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

And then so we've touched upon the many skills and degrees that you have when you've built a meaningful career as a children's author. Was writing always a passion of yours? And what inspired you to pursue that route as well?

SPEAKER_01 4:27

So I don't I don't know if I would personally describe it as a career. I still often feel like an imposter. It's more like something that I was really wanting to do, something I'm passionate about. Initially, what inspired it before I had my children, I had worked on a project at an international book fair. And I remembered thinking, there's so many amazing kids' books, but there was none about Philistine. There's one that I found that I think was originally in Swedish and then translated into Arabic. It was not by an Arab author. And um, when I was doing that, I was in this phase where I was trying to figure out how I can still be an activist outside of university setting. So I was I was thinking of different things that could have like a long-lasting impact and a wide impact. The two just kind of connected and I thought, my gosh, why don't we have any books about Philistine for kids? Uh it kind of started from there. And then when I had my first daughter, that was like the more motivation to actually get it done. Because I had started writing out something, but it just wasn't clicking. That's kind of how it started. And then the Baba, what does my name mean? I named all my kids after different cities in Palestine. Conversation would be had, or like that we would always talk about it with them. So it just kind of made sense to make the book about that.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

I love that you drew inspiration from your real life.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

I want our kids to know that, you know, be proud of your name, even if it's different. Even like until now, random people here in Panama City will remember my name because it was so different. Also, like as a mom, we go through a lot to figure out figure out what to name our kids. So these names have such importance, even if they don't actually have a meaning, like they have a meaning for your family, like why your parents chose that name. So it's a nice bonding thing, too, between you and your kids.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

So, how do you approach writing stories that are both engaging for kids and meaningful in celebrating passing identity?

SPEAKER_01 6:27

So the way that I come up with the stories, it kind of just comes to my head. I don't specifically sit down to really think about what I'm gonna write. It's really stuff that is based off of experiences I've had and things that are marinating already, like ideas that are already swirling around in my head. But for example, like my book Birthday Kanafe, that one I did think about because I was thinking, what's something that's unique that we haven't seen done before? Aside from like being about Palestine, which is still unique for this space. But the the idea that it's a wordless picture book, I really like that because I actually didn't discover wordless picture books myself until I was doing speech therapy. Wanted to think of something that would expose parents and children to a different way of communicating and a different way of reading. But the actual storylines, I'll have like a general idea in my head. So after Baba, what does my name mean? I knew I had to answer the question at the end, which was what made me a refugee. So I knew the next book would be about the Nekba. I just didn't know specifically what. I actually worked with a writing coach and she's my editor as well, but she helped me get the actual storyline out. Something that I had not been familiar with is something called free writing, where you just write with no nothing stopping you. You just write what's coming out of your head and you actually physically write it, like not on a computer, you use a pen and paper. And that really, once you get to like five minutes of writing, that starts bringing out all kinds of things you didn't even think were inside of your head. And then you start to see like what is it, what parts that I wrote are exciting me, and then go with that storyline with a process to really get to what you're trying to say. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

And do you find like that you've figured out that balance between Fallstein within itself is political? So anytime you know you talk about Folesteen, it is political. And so do you feel like you've found that balance of in my head, I'm like dark and twisty.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

So it's really hard for me to try and make it fun and bubbly. And also, like you said, the topic is not fun and bubbly. We are fun and bubbly people, but we also have circumstances that that might dampen that. So I don't like to hide that or steer away from it. I just like it to all be organic in the way that we live. That's what I hope I try and stories. Like it's all connected and it's all there. I know some people like to focus just on cultural things because it's easier for children to digest. Even outside of Palestine, there's this question in the children's book world of what's too much to expose children to, what's a too difficult of a topic. But for me personally, I don't just don't shy away from that stuff because I never had that luxury. Palestinian children living in Palestine don't have that luxury. Those living in the diaspora don't like we don't have that luxury. It is us. I feel like I'd be doing a disservice if I just made the entire book something that erases or doesn't fully take on our experience or what shaped our experience as Palestinians.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

I I totally agree. I feel like that's exactly how I want my kids to read books about Philistine, is the way that you do it, mashallah. And my kids love your book. So it opens up different conversations because as a parent, it's really hard to find that balance of what I want them to be exposed to versus what I don't. But it's like this is who we are, so I I don't want to shield you from this. So I feel like your books are that perfect kind of opening ground to not just learning about the fun part of the culture, but also how important Philestine is.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

Um like they have to know what is Felestine, what is being taken from us so that they they know like it's your the importance of it.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

Like you have a responsibility as a Palestinian to fight for it, and we can't expect them to suddenly wake up when they're 18 and want to wanna you know speak out. They have to have been uh exposed to it from a young age.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

Yeah, totally. So growing up, it seems like you were really connected to your Palestinian roots, and like you said, you have a passion for activism. Was there a specific moment or experience that made you really feel how Palestinian you are?

SPEAKER_01 10:55

That's a very good question. I was gonna say a lot of this, if we're talking about trauma and trying to discover our traumas, a lot of this could be because I don't feel Palestinian enough. Again, small southern town. We were one of maybe two Palestinian families at the time. There was a decent, like a small-size Muslim community, but really like the only Palestinian. We grew up with the news always on. My parents had the Journal of Palestine Studies that would come every month. We always had books around my parents were always reading and always talking about it. And then our trips to Palestine were obviously immensely impactful. That's those are my childhood memories that I have.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

Um Did you go back often?

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Yeah, we would try and go every summer. Wow, Mushula. That's an incredible blessing to have. Exactly. And like I recognize that, and I that's why Baba, what does my name mean? It's like a tour guide throughout Palestine because I want the kids who can't go back to at least feel like they got to know it in some way. But yeah, I think it stems from just not feeling Palestinian enough. You know, when you're separated from the culture, it's really hard to cling on to it when you're far away, the distance, the language barrier. And I speak and understand Arabic, but you know, the older you get, the conversations become more difficult because it requires more difficult vocabulary that we don't learn just in our daily life here in the US, you know. We're just not exposed to all that language and like the cultural intricacies and all of that. You really won't get that unless you live there or visit there. I think that's also what gives me the motivation to pursue this more, just to feel that connection as well and not to lose it. It's really hard to hold on to.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

Yeah. Especially not just hold on to it for yourself, but to have, I'm putting air quotes like enough of it to pass on to your children as well.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

I think that kids now, if I can't take them back every summer, I feel like huge guilt that I'm ruining future generations. At least I can have these books that might help them in some way, you know?

SPEAKER_02 13:06

Yeah. No, exactly. I mean, storytelling is such an important part of Palestinian culture and a way to preserve it. How do you see children's literature specifically playing a role in preserving our stories?

SPEAKER_01 13:17

I think it's like like any written word, it's it's a way of preserving it. Like you have it written down so there's a copy out there somewhere that will still spread and continue to educate people. And like I said before, we have to lay that foundation for children. Again, they're not gonna magically wake up one day feeling connected. So we have to make that connection for them. And I don't think it's just with books, I think it's with how you have your surroundings, what's in your house, what's hanging around. Just these constant reminders of home, what you're talking about with your kids, if you can connect something that happens with them to something back home. Stuff like that. It's like a comprehensive thing. But the books offer a tool, a very easy tool for parents to use so that they don't feel overwhelmed if they don't know where to start. So that's how kind of how I think about the books. It's it's just a tool in your arsenal of education.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

Yeah, like you said, it's a it's definitely a holistic approach, but your books can kind of give guidance to people who feel a little bit overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Even for me, like if one of my kids' teachers asks me to come and talk, instead of feeling overwhelmed, which I still feel, I'm like, okay, I'll grab my book, grab the animation, we're good to go. That's at least a starting point and really helpful.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

How do you help educators play a role in connecting children to their heritage?

SPEAKER_01 14:43

You know what's funny is you know, the educators are doing it, like the ones who really seek out this work, they find they find the books and they've come up with really cool ways of using it in the classroom. I can't take any credit for it, but I I like how they're using it as a tool. I've seen so many different activities done with the books or study circles or using it to help educate other educators. And like I said, it's just it's that tool that can make it so much easier for people to rely on.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

Yeah, I've seen it. So I'm I live in Chicago, and so I've seen it kind of all around. I actually, my brother put together the reading that you did on Zoom, like last month. Um, my daughters and I were sick, so we couldn't go, but yeah, he was the one that was like putting it together and stuff. So I've seen how your books play out in real life in the community and um and the activities that they do around. Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

I I no idea. Like when I wrote this in my kitchen, I like I couldn't even fathom that this all would would come out of it. So that's why I always tell people do what you can, do whatever excites you, something you know you're you can be beneficial in or any project, and just do it. People will take it from there.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

You touched on a really good point of you need to be passionate about it because you're not going to be setting out to be like, I'm going to do this because I want the end result to be that, because we don't know what the end result is going to be of things. But if you're passionate about it and you kind of just put in your heart into things and you just kind of see how it unfolds. Actually, speaking of that, my six-year-old daughter really wants to be an author and an illustrator. She's glad she makes like her own little books. It's really awesome. She's more heavy on the illustrator part than the author part, but she wants like her name to be like the author. So, what what advice would you give to younger girls who want to be an author?

SPEAKER_01 16:39

I would tell them to practice daily writing. I learned from my editors that you're not like born a good writer, contrary to popular belief. It's a skill that you build on. And so if you start from when you're very young, you'll be amazed by the results when you get older. Just practice from now and do it daily. I always tell my kids about atomic habits and implement that in your daily life. If you've seen that book, just like take five minutes a day to just do the same thing and see the results later, and you'll be amazed. So the same thing for other kids. Like just make it a habit of practicing whatever you are interested in. And that way they also learn that none of these things happen overnight. My writing has drastically changed from the first book to the last book. And then you as a person will change, which will reflect in your writing as well. So it's a good learning lesson for them to see. Like that these things take time and they take effort and persistence.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Yeah, I'm definitely gonna pass this along to her because her favorite thing to buy at the current moment is all these journals. She loves buying journals and pens. Let me learn. I love it because I would love to see when you look back 15 years from now and see what her writing was to what it is now.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Honestly, with writing, you're just trying to get your idea out and then learn about all the editing and all of that later. So I would have her brain try and focus on the idea she's trying to tell versus the actual like writing itself, because that's what stagnates you. As soon as I start thinking, oh, that sentence should be written differently, the grammar is off, or I should shorten it, or it totally kills your flow that's happening in your head. That's why the free writing exercise is so helpful because you can't kill your flow. You go and pick and choose what part of that flow didn't make any sense and what part you can elaborate on more.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

That's all real very helpful advice. I'm gonna let her listen to this part of the podcast. So, speaking of family, family and heritage often influence the stories we tell. For so many of us, these were our first storytellers. Do you have a specific story that your city told you that has really stayed with you?

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Usually my grandfather is the one like telling all the stories. Um, my grandma she told stories through her daily interactions with us, and honestly through food. It's it was her it's her passion, and I can tell like that's where she thrives, and she's really good at it. She did tell us some stories when she was younger, when the neqba happened, but we all have similar, I guess, nekba stories. Can you share a little bit about your city? Uh my tata is she's actually her mom is from Cyprus, so she had moved to Palestine, and then during the Nekbah, they had to escape and they stayed in Cyprus for a little bit and then came back to Jerusalem. From her family's from Jerusalem. This is the Tata from my mom's side, the one that was that I grew up with. She got married, she had six children. My mom is the eldest, and she's, like I said, an amazing, amazing cook. I mean, like probably all of our tata's are yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

We have to do like a mensaf cook-off.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

Yeah. She's very confident about it.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

Oh, I'm sure she as she should, as she should be.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

Like, I'll tell you, for example, Tata, one time I was cutting tomatoes. I was making a salad for myself, and I was older. It's not like I'm younger. I'm older, and she just got so frustrated watching me cut the tomatoes. She's like, just give it to me, I'll do it. She's like that type of person in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

And they do it like without even a cutting board, just like straight up. Like and it's always like the tiniest pieces, like the ones that I have to use the chopper for. I'm just like, how do you get it like that?

SPEAKER_01 20:37

No cutting themselves, no nothing, mashallah. I was just telling somebody about this yesterday. Like, we would be out fill balad, like, you know, shopping, whatever. We come back, we're so tired, and suddenly she's whipped up like a whole meal by the time I'm done, like quickly using the bathroom and coming back. She's like got this whole spread. And for me, it would have been something I had to think about like two weeks in advance before I attempt cooking it. So that's the type of person she is. Gets things done, wants things a certain way. And I don't know if you know, like ladies from Jerusalem, they're all about the perfect, pristine, clean house. Like everything's on point. Um, but like I said, funny, sarcastic, but very sweet and very easygoing, and just like hick like lighthearted, you know. What was what's your teta's name? Her name is Huda. Actually, um Kamel's key is that's my grandparents, Kamal and Huda. Oh, so sweet. That's also their image. So I I showed the illustrator their pictures. It's not their story personally, but I really wanted something to have them in the story. There is a family picture that's a real picture that's in the story. We embedded it in one of the pictures. What was their response to that? Did you get to show them that? They smiled. Yeah, they were happy. But you know, with Arab families, it's like, that's nice. Good for you, Ta'at Asitti. Good for you. That's I swear it's for you. That's so sweet. Or but they'll be like, but I don't look like that.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

Why just give me one pat on the back, please? She won't do that, but she'll cook you like a full four-course meal. So I I'll take that part. That makes up for it. Um, so how much influence do like your grandparents or their stories and that generation's stories play into your books?

SPEAKER_01 22:24

It's all interwoven. All of our stories are connected. And alhamdulillah, like I I had a set of grandparents to grow up with, but also after law school, I did move to Falstein and I worked there for eight months. So I was basically living with them. Our apartment is right above theirs, but basically they were responsible for me, even though I was like 26, 27. They were in charge. So I got to know them on a much deeper level, and it was really nice. We really bonded and they took care of me every morning before work. She made sure to have something for me when I would come home. They would sit with me and eat, even though they'd already eaten. It was just it was really sweet. It was like a really nice bonding experience. Sido, for example, Sido tells us, Sido, mashaAllah, he's almost 100 years old. Oh mashallah, that's amazing. Um he he tells us stories all the time, and it starts becoming like a history lesson. And I'm like, Sido, no, I want your personal story. I I feel like sometimes they have difficulty speaking like on a personal level. It's always a collective, but he always told us his stories, and it's just that connection that you feel like you have to Falestine pre-Nekba because they're the generation that lived in Palestine that was still not, you know, inf infected with Zionism. It was there, but they still got to grow up without it, essentially, even though they were under the British mandate. You you feel like you have this piece of history with you. Aside from it being your family, you also have this like piece of history that is being taken. You cling to them more because they have they have this extra layer of not importance, but it's just this extra layer, you know.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

They just feel like this exclusive type of generation that you're just like wanting to hold on to so tight.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Tell them I want to record you, let me video. I've been telling them for for decades now. And they just they don't like it, they don't like to sit down and be recorded. I can totally relate.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

I always was like, City, I'm gonna come, we're gonna sit down, I'm gonna record with you. And I got to do a little bit of that before she passed away. And I always kind of kick myself of being like, I had this idea for so long, why didn't I do it earlier? And that's kind of what like not spearheaded this podcast because I had this idea before that point, but kind of really gave me the right time to go, is because she passed away a couple months ago. She lived such a large life, and there's just so many stories that she had, and so many stories that came out after that that other people had of her. I'm sure every person has these stories about their grandma that are so important and that don't get recorded. So I would love to just kind of shed light on the person that they are, but also their grandmas because they're the people that made us who we are. They're such a contributing factor to who we are.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

They're the caretakers, and I feel like oftentimes they get overshadowed amongst these huge families. You just take for granted that Tata's there, you know. I love that this spotlights them.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. Um, so much of what our Siddhis teach us is rooted in identity, knowing who we are, where we come from, and the importance of passing it down to the next generation. How do you see the Palestinian literary community evolving? And what excites you most about that, the future of Palestinian storytelling?

SPEAKER_01 25:50

I'll tell you the first time I read like a non like a fiction book, or not fiction, I would say it was more like um an autobiographical book, was by Fawz Turki. And he was talking about his personal experience as a refugee and in the refugee camps. And I just I was blown away because I felt seen and I didn't even have that experience. It was the first time I realized what it was like to read a book that told my our story that was easily accessible and not just like in a university setting. And then books like Susan Abu Hawa's, it's like again, you don't realize that you didn't get to grow up with that because for me it was the norm that you know the only books available were like the Babysitters Club. You know, the white blonde girls on the Babysitters Club. So when when those sorts of books came out, then I realized like, oh my God, what a feeling to actually see your story written and to for somebody else to get it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

And Mornings and Janine was like, that was that for me. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 26:53

Yeah, I cried every page. Every page I flipped, I cried, and I was like, oh my God, somebody sees it. And you don't realize that we all see it. We just don't have that like written form to to communicate with each other through. And so now it's definitely gotten better. Like you said, it's it's there's a lot more books that are out and a lot more Palestinian stories coming out. It's very exciting. I feel very excited for my kids that they have that to look to, knowing what it's like not to have that. It's also like a learning lesson for us as parents not to project our own experiences on our kids, because they're having all these new tools that we didn't necessarily have, but they're having that because of our experiences and because we're taking those experiences and putting it in something that can be beneficial. So again, it circles back to everyone doing their part. And if you can write, write it. Whether it's self-published, whether you get it traditionally published in any form, do it. Even if it's just like for your family and you want to write something and make like a little book out of it, why not? Why not tell your family story and have it written down? Kids love that visual tool that they can look at. So I'm excited for the future of our stories. And I think especially now there's a hunger for it. People want to hear from us and know directly from us about our experiences. We're very used to people talking about us and not listening to us. I hope that continues to grow. I hope that we are the ones that take control of our narrative and tell our stories for us and that nobody else does that on our behalf. It's it's like this whole thing. I'm not I'm not discounting allies, but again, it's never the same as hearing directly from the person that's affected by it.

SPEAKER_02 28:42

But also allies, if you're a true ally, yes, be there and stand next to me, but also let me speak on my own story. That's being a true ally.

SPEAKER_01 28:51

I discovered it later that even in like the book world, there's this question because it starts becoming what kind of characters can you write if you're not allowed to write other characters that are not from the same culture that you are? People who write novels, and if let's say they want to diversify their characters, how do they do that given that they're not from that group or whatever? I alhamdulillah, I'm not into that because I wouldn't know how to do it. Like I would feel so uncomfortable writing somebody else's character that I have no familiarity with. So even if you notice, like my books mostly have female characters, my second book is a boy because it's just not what comes natural for me because I don't know a true boy's experience. But yeah, I've been told it's um, you know, we are we are all human and we all have a human experience regardless of what the character is and where they're from. But I don't know. I for me it's like a delicate balance because I'm not trying to write somebody else's culture.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

You know there are so many Palestinian writers who are writing on their own experiences. Why not highlight them? Why not give them their flowers, build them up and uplift them? Like why do we need other people to tell our own stories if there are, you know, writers like you who exist?

SPEAKER_01 30:06

And we don't need them to bolster our stories or anything like that, you know? Like we can stand on our own. We don't need a companion story more credible.

SPEAKER_02 30:16

Yeah, totally. So on that note, what are some of the biggest obstacles you faced in your journey and how have you overcome them? Deep question. It doesn't necessarily have to be about your writing journey either.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Oh, oh, my journey in general? Yeah, I could even bigger questions. Okay, well, if you want an arrow My journey is still tumultuous. The journey to self-discovery. No, no, for writing specifically, I I think the biggest obstacle is how naive I was to this field. Because I'm self-published, that's a whole challenge on its own. To be self-published, you're like a one-man show. So you have to be the writer, the editor, the marketer, the this, that you have to do it all and figure out like the business aspect of it, which really, if you're a creative person, it kills your creativity because you don't want to do the business aspect of it, you know. You want to write your stories. So there's all of those layers. And then just in general, like being taken seriously as a self-published author, that's an uphill battle. A lot of times you'll you'll see people differentiate between the two, between traditional publishing and self-publishing. For self-publishing journey in general, I would say if you think that it's easier or faster, don't get into it. It's not because I myself thought it would be quicker, but it takes a lot of time because again, you're the one doing everything. You have to find the illustrator, you have to collaborate with you're the art director, you have to do all of that. You're not just writing the story and that's it.

SPEAKER_02 31:51

What you know now, would you do it again that way or would you change it?

SPEAKER_01 31:58

It's definitely like the process of writing the first book, I would say was mentally much easier because I was so naive. It gets excessively harder. So right now I'm on like a little personal in my mind hiatus, like taking a break. But yeah, I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it. And I I would love to like traditionally publish just to try that, but that's also its own journey that I don't know if I'm in the space for, like right now. What I encourage other people to do is think about where you are in life, what's your circumstances, what's your capabilities, what's your time constraints, and all of those things. Like, think about that and then choose a route that works best for what's going on in your life. And don't think that you have to choose a certain route. So, for example, I wasn't planning on going to law school. I I thought I was a renegade and I'm not gonna do the traditional route, blah, blah. And so I did a master's in human rights. After that, I was like, my God, how am I gonna actually work in this? Like, what how my brain couldn't compute how I could turn that into a career. So I went back to law school. Law school also it teaches you like a way of thinking that I wouldn't have had had I not done that. So the point is don't feel like you have to do something a certain way. Do it whatever way works best for you, and then at that time, and then if you find out later that's not it, then go to the next option.

SPEAKER_02 33:23

Yeah, I think I think that's so insightful to hear, especially as women. We do tend to box ourselves in by like timeline and circumstance. So I think that's so insightful to just hear someone else be like, no, I did that and I changed it, and I'm doing other things now, other really cool things now. Yeah. Can you I would actually love to hear more about that.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

My bachelor's was in political science and Arabic. Um why did you eye roll on that? Because my Arabic is not stellar. Um I think it's funny when I say that. But yes, I did get a bachelor's in it. And then I did my master's in human rights studies, and then I did law I did law, and when I was working in that realm, actually the whole time I was in law school, I knew it wasn't for me, but you know, we're not quitters, stuck with it, and I did it, and I was like, it'll get better, it'll get better. No, it didn't get better. It just wasn't right for me. And there was actually um somebody in the admin that told me, he's like, I I feel like you're not thriving in this environment. And I hadn't thought of that because to me, I'm like, I don't need to thrive, I just need to pass. Like, I need to graduate, I need to be a lawyer. You know, like you don't think about yourself and like your mental well-being. You don't think about that. But when I look back on it now, I'm like, oh my God, I wasn't thriving because that just wasn't right for me. But I don't regret it because, like I said, it taught me a way of thinking and a way of approaching things, a way of talking. So I really appreciate that. So it was meant to happen. But when I moved to Abu Dhabi after I got married, I was doing more like media politics type stuff. And that's actually how I got involved in that project at the book fair. It was through an embassy that I was working with. They were like the highlighted country at the time. But when I was doing that, I was like, gosh, am I really gonna try and be a lawyer? Like, is this really it? And I remembered really enjoying helping a cousin when I was younger, like, fix his list. It's something so basic, you know, it's not this big epiphany, but I had never heard of speech therapy. So when I looked that up, I was like, my God, this is a whole field. I was never exposed to it. I never knew anybody that had like a speech issue. So like it just wasn't on my radar. And so I said, you know, I'm just gonna apply for it. Why not? I'm here. I'm doing this random stuff. I'm just gonna do like what I want to do. Yeah. So I started up, I did all like the prerequisites because I basically had to start from scratch. So I had to take all these prerequisites and apply for a master's in speech language pathology. So that's kind of how I pivoted. And that ended up taking another like six million years because in between I had kids and I was, you know, living overseas, but I would have to come back for internships. It was just it was a long process, but alhamdulillah, it's over, and it got me to where I am today.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

Also inspired the books. Every part of our stories shapes our journeys for the next step that along the way, and it wouldn't have happened if not like every one of those things happened exactly at the time that they did. So exactly alhamdulillah for everything.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Good for people to be aware, even if you're in the trenches and you feel like this really sucks. Keep going. You really don't know how much your life will change in year in a few years. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

In order for you to like make real change in the world, it has to be something that you feel passionate about because people can see that, you know, and within your books, like Asha, you really can convey how passionate you are. It even ties to like your real life experiences and your kids' names. That really reflects it, sh it comes through to other people who are reading your books.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Thank you. I appreciate that. It there's a quote that I read about writers that said, I'm gonna totally butcher it. Something about like when you write, like it's your it's basically your insides coming out. Like it's it's it's very personal and people don't realize that. So when they give like harsh feedback or harsh reviews, it's it's hard because it's really a personal story. You think this is not how you would write it or what you would say. Give some grace to the person who put themselves out there and put their heart into the story. But aside from that, even when you're passionate about something, you might have in your head that there's only one to convey that passion. But there's just so many different ways that you can do what you like to do. Um, I like to encourage people to find what that is. Yeah. I thought I would write a book.

SPEAKER_02 38:00

When did that transition happen from when you got your degree in speech pathology? Did you work in as a speech therapist?

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Yeah, I'm so that's what I currently do now. I love the age two and under, you know, like the late talkers. I really love that age group. So I work with the younger kids, and that's why I like to give advice on like how to read stories with your kids. Some of my stories, like the like Baba, what does my name mean? It's it's very wordy, but I tell parents, you know, the author's not sitting there watching you read their book. Like you can do whatever you want with the book. You can point to a picture on each page, and that's good enough. The idea is just to get your kids to enjoy holding a book and looking at it, you know. That's the non-the wordless picture book, so that you if kids feel intimidated by words, they don't have to. Like they can just tell the story through the pictures.

SPEAKER_02 38:50

I love that you were intentional about that. That makes me like love you even more because as someone, no, really, I dealt with like a speech-delayed child, and it was a struggle for everyone. And so I love that you were being so intentional about that. That's very special. Yeah, no, I try, I try my best. So, among your journey of self-discovery, as you said, what's been the most rewarding part of your journey so far?

SPEAKER_01 39:19

Man, I feel like I'm in a therapy session now. Like on a personal level, I guess um, seeing being able to see what I was able to produce even when I thought I couldn't, or being able to see that things will be okay, even if you feel you're not in the right space. Like it's okay. Things will be okay. There's so many different journeys, but the I guess like the most rewarding thing has been this is cheesy, but seeing the world through the eyes of my kids and healing yourself in that way because I see how they are, and I'm able to better understand myself at the same time. The motherhood journey has been, you know, transformative. So that also has transformed like how I approach the books as well. Just seeing how it all connects and how it shifted my perspective on a lot of things and just made me more chill. I don't know if my friends would say that, but just I hope like made me relax a little bit. Like it'll be okay with the new generation. When I saw what's happening on college campuses, I was floored because when I was in college, it would be a struggle to get people to support. Now we have like a movement. And it's because of all these atomic, like micro things that we did along the way and people before us. Like, so again, it ties back to everybody just doing their part. So that's why I say, like, for my journey, every time I get overwhelmed, I remind myself, you know, just do your part. You don't bear all the responsibility in the world. We're all in this together. We all have a role to play. Even if you feel like you're not doing as much as so and so or not making as much progress. When you start comparing yourself and bringing yourself down, just remind yourself, you know, I'm doing my part. Also, as a Muslim, reset your intentions, remind yourself why you're doing this. It's not for anything else, it's for the passion that you have and the subject that you're talking about, and um just go from there because with our age, we've gotten to see how much things have progressed. And so that keeps you on a hopeful note, even though current day is very stressful, very scary. Allah's promise is true, and I really, I really see that like there's something, it's something is there that's that's working, and we're gonna we're gonna find we're gonna be liberated one day. Inshallah. We're gonna liberate ourselves one day. So like on a personal level, inshallah.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

Yeah. I think like you said, we're all moving collectively towards freedom. Even if it doesn't look like a clear vision right now, um, all these little things will make a huge impact. Mushallah, you're part of you know, creating some of that impact as well. And through the highs and lows, you've navigated challenges with resilience and passion. Looking back, these experiences have undoubtedly shaped your journey. As you move forward, what is next for you?

SPEAKER_01 42:07

Like I said, on a little bit of a mental break, because it did get really overwhelming. And I'm a very sensitive person as well. So I don't just like write it and put it out there, you know, like it's it all affects me. So just taking a break, but in the in the spirit of wanting to be a renegade and like try new things, I do have something marinating in my head for the distant future that's more of like a young adult type thing. If if I wrote again, it would be more like a longer young adult, more romance type of thing. It's totally something totally different from kids' books.

SPEAKER_02 42:45

You deserve to take that break. You've put out like four books in the last four or five years. Mashallah, that's an incredible thing to accomplish. Yeah. So you deserve to take a little bit of a break, and we're very excited to see whatever it is that you come out with in the future whenever you feel is the right time for you.

SPEAKER_01 43:03

When your kids are like at that age, maybe I would have had that book for their age finished. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:09

Yeah, that'll be great. Seriously, this has been such an inspiring conversation. And I've loved that we've come full circle from your roots to the legacy that you're building through your writing. Before we wrap up, can you share with us how we can support you and how people can connect with you?

SPEAKER_01 43:25

My Instagram is my name, so it's R-I-F-K-E-B-E-I-D. Um, that's where I put any updates and anytime you can like DM me if anyone wants to connect. Happy to answer any questions, any of my experiences along the way. My books are online on most major platforms. They should be worldwide. And also one huge form of support is just to spread the word. Tell your circle about it, tell anyone that you come across that you think would be interested in it or benefit from it. Any educators, if you find that these types of books are not available at your library, consider donating or telling the library to it.

SPEAKER_02 44:07

Arab Heritage Month is coming up in April. So if anyone wants to give your books to libraries and schools, that's the biggest support is just spreading the word.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

Just let people know that these things, these tools exist.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

That's great. I hope everyone feels inspired and empowered to make more of a difference in their communities through your books. So my last question kind of goes back to my my Siddhi-inspired first question. So you shared a word that describes your Siddhi as habiti. If your Siddhi was here today with us drinking some shay and like chit-chatting with us on our conversation, what would be her one word to describe you? My gosh, that is so hard.

SPEAKER_01 44:47

What would Telta say? She would, I think she would say that I'm very passionate. If I have an idea in my head, I'm set on it. I'm known as like not a loudmouth, but you know, strong opinions. That's the word, opinionated. I was like, there's a word for it.

SPEAKER_02 45:05

And you know what? I love that because I feel like our grandmas, at least mine, they're the ones that taught me how to be a strong, opinionated woman. So I love that. That that's your word. Umrif, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and all your passion and your joy for storytelling with us today. I'm so excited to follow along and see the stories you continue to bring to life. Inshallah, thank you so much for having me. I had fun talking. Thank you. I appreciate it, Siram. Thank you for joining us on this episode of Siddhi Stories, where we honor the voices and highlight the achievements of Palestinian women. Diffq's journey is a reminder that storytelling is more than just words on a page. It's about preserving identity, reclaiming narratives, and making an impact in ways big and small. As you go about your day, think about the stories that have shaped you and the ones you hope to pass on. Share with us and let us know. We'd love to hear them. The DIFKS books are not just for reading, they can also be a great way to engage in meaningful activities with kids and sparking a discussion about identity, heritage, and resilience. Our books are available online and at major booksellers. I've included a link in the description. If you loved this conversation, leave us a rating and a review, share this episode with a friend, and connect with us on social media at sitties.stories on Instagram. Until next time, stay rooted, stay resilient, and keep sharing your stories.

SPEAKER_00 46:29

Mahasalama, I think that's a good idea.